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8/02/2004


Crap-News-a-Palooza

The curse of politics can drive my apathy to the heights of Mount Everest, especially in an election year. Yet I care deeply about our country so it’s almost impossible to not become engaged to some degree. I write this blog, I participate in debate, and I defend those in office I feel are worthy of re-election. But still, the politics in an election year can make a man like me, someone with deep conviction, want to toss it all away.

How many more nonsense headlines are there going to be? How many more inane non-stories will be commented on by bloggers (like me) and journalists before the November election? One more could send me into vomitous convulsions. It is out of this frustration that I decided to pull together headlines from the past year that I could have done without. Here's a small sampling of this year's non-issue headline festival I call Crap-News-a-Palooza. Let the game of political one-upmanship commence.

1. I’m more athletic and coordinated than you are.

Bush falls off bike – May 2004

Bush falls off a Segway – June 2003

Bush falls off bike again – July 2004

Kerry takes a spill on the slopes while snowboarding. – March 2004

Kerry falls off bike – May 2004

Kerry throws a wild pitch – July 2004


2. I can swear and not care better than you.

Kerry drops the F-bomb – December 2003

Cheney drops the F-bomb – July 2004


3. Your daughter(s) is/are more immoral than mine.

Kerry’s Daughter shows the full Monty at Cannes. – May 2004

Bush daughters drink under aged. – Old issue but resurrected in July 2004


4. Your military service is a joke.

Kerry’s medals vs. ribbons - April 2004

Bush’s service vs non-service – May 2004


5. My entrance was better than your entrance

Bush lands on carrier – May 2003

Kerry rides boat with former swift boat mates to DNC convention. – July 2004


6. Your party sucks so bad, influential people leave out of distaste for it.

Teresa was a republican once – July 2004

Zell Miller was a democrat once. – June 2004


Reporting and blogging on the non-issues does nothing to further political campaigns, yet each side tries to stay one step ahead of the other. It’s like they are positive that numerous voters will have decided to vote against Kerry because he threw a ball into the dirt, or against Bush because he fell off a Segway. If people vote against a candidate for any of the reasons I’ve listed above, they have a lot more to worry about than who the next president will be.

One thing is certain; Crap-News-Apalooza is not going away. Big headlines will be made from small issues, and much energy will be spent making straw men and knocking them down. But in the end, it is the issues that remain, and the issues on which the majority of America will be voting on. Lets focus on those and not the “white noise” of the non-issues.

posted by: Brian Scott


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