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6/05/2004


All The Yummy Zero Tolerance You Can Choke On.

Zero thought required when administering zero tolerance. Thank God for that. What would our world look like if we allow Tweety Bird key chains, 8" souvenir bats, and hand drawn pictures of real life into our public schools? I shudder to think of the terror it would wreak on this great nation.

    Wisconsin: A sixth-grader gets suspended because of a science project. The project involved cutting an onion. He brought a kitchen knife to school. Bad sixth-grader.

    Georgia: Ashley is in the sixth grade. She loves Tweety Bird. She has her wallet on a Tweety Bird keychain. The government employees running her particular government school decide that her keychain is a weapon. She could strangle someone with it. (I guess if they had a neck the size of a pencil.) Ashley: suspended. Thankfully her father sees the light and sends her to a private school.

    Texas: This zero-tolerance idiocy comes from Ft. Worth. Cory Henson plays baseball on the Diamond Hill-Jarvis baseball team. In the trunk of his car is his baseball equipment, including aluminum bats. In the front seat of his car we have a souvenir baseball bat. It is made of wood and 8" long. That's not as long as a piece of copy paper is wide. Ft. Worth government school officials decide that the 8" bat is a weapon! The real aluminum baseball bats aren't. I wonder if these school officials know that virtually every car in the student parking lot has a weapon in the trunk. It's called a lug wrench. Now If you want to clobber someone, which would you choose? The 8" wooden bat or the two-pound steel lug wrench?

    Missouri: October of 2001. It is just a month after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. A fifth-grade student draws a picture of an airplane flying into a building. Suspended.

    A third-grader has a brother serving in the Army in Afghanistan. The proud third-grader draws a picture of his brother. The drawing shows his brother with a gun. Suspended."
Aren't the teachers supposed to be smarter than the children? What the teachers are doing is demonstrating exactly why they shouldn't be teaching. Here’s an idea: If you can't use common sense and logic... YOU SHOULDN'T TEACH ANYONE, ANYTHING! PERIOD.

Here’s a standardized test for teachers. It's 1 question. But if they can't pass it, they cannot be a teacher, ever. They will be allowed 1/2 hour to complete the test.

1. When confronting a child with a spork, you should?

a. Run for cover.
b. Scream "weapon!" and try and take the 3rd grader out in the most lethal way possible.
c. Beg the child to spare your life.
d. Suspend him/her
e. Let them eat.

posted by: Brian Scott


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