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3/19/2004


For Married Men Only: Instruction guide to the "Impenetrable Stink Eye Shield" by Brian Scott

Assumptions made: 1. You have a significant other (lets say a wife) 2. You suffer from frequent "Stink eyes" from your significant other.

Definition of Stink Eye:

It's how your wife looks at you when she's angry with you. Usually the stink eye is an indicator that your a terrible person not worthy of living much less inhabiting the same space as your significant other. The "Stink eye" can make you feel inadequate, emasculated, stupid, and shameful. The harsher the "stink eye" the more severe your reaction will be. I've seen grown men cower. It was not pretty.

Note:
Almost all women possess this power.

Warning: The stink eye is a look that you can get from ANY woman even if she's not your significant other. Take care. You can provoke the stink eye by merely stating your well thought out opinions.

Directions: (3 steps)

1. (Shields up 33%) Make a decision as to what your going to do with full realization that it will most likely make your wife angry. This could be simply going to the bathroom at a time the other feels is not a good time for her, visiting a friend she doesn't approve of, watching a show on the "not approved" list, and even saying what is on your mind. Physc yourself up for it. You can do it.

2. (Sheilds up 66%) Your enemy's...I mean wife's weapon can be pulled at any time. So understand that in order for the stink eye to fully work on you, there needs to be eye contact between you and your wife. AVOID EYE CONTACT AT ALL COST. The S.E. is a very powerful weapon, that you'll be able to feel even if your not looking, but by not looking your "shields" are now up to 66%. In other words the blow from the S.E. is now weekend enough to continue with what you were doing.

3. (Sheilds up 100%) Full inoculation. Your not going to like hearing this. But in order for shields to be at maximum you must weigh what you are doing or saying against whether or not you want to have sex that month (possibly even longer). If you are comfortable with that, surrender your mind to the "I'm not going to care what she thinks about this" (and believe it) section of your mind. It's the ONLY way to have your shields at maximum.

You can be choosy on this one. Sometimes your "supposed" offense is not that bad. Putting your shields at maximum may result in no retaliation whatsoever. Women like to use the S.E. frequently when they know that by using it, they will get there way. I can't tell you what offense your wife feels is worse than others, you'll have to judge that on your own.

I hope this helps. Feel free to use it at anytime. Write to me if you have any questions. Good luck!

posted by: Brian Scott


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